Hope everyone had a great turkey day.
Found these 'you might be a redneck if...' things...I like to substitute hick for redneck personally, cuz all them rednecks are down south, right?
You might be a hick if.....
You think Sherlock holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi
You've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws
You think taco bell is a mexica phone company
your house still has a "wide load" sign on the back
you think possum is "the other white meat"
You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.
You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart
your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed
you think the last words to the star spangled banner are 'gentlement, start your engines'
you believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law
You think the OJ trial was a sunkist and minutemaid taste test
You have more than one family member named Bubba
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 8-tracks
Your front porch collapses and 4 dogs git killed
Your whole family is democrats except little Mary....she learnt to readin'
you think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph
you have a rag for a gas cap
more than half of the cars you own don't run
the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it
you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge
your huntin' dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in
you own more belt buckles than pants
you think the three primary colors are john deere green, ford blue, and primer gray
your parents met at a family reunion
your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest
you have the local taxidermist's number on speed-dial
On thanksgiving day you have to decide which pet to eat
your coffee table used to be a cable spool
your toilet paper has page numbers on it
you've painted a car with house paint
your favorite fruit is chicken
you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table
Your mamma has "ammo" on her Christmas list
your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language
you've ever barbequed spam on the grill
you call your boss "buddy" on a regular basis
you mow your lawn and find a car
you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter
your screen door has no screen
An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
ok......that's enough.......til next time |